Thinking about suicide? 9-8-8 is here to help. Call or text 9-8-8 toll-free, anytime. English and French.

You are currently on the:

CMHA National

Visit our provincial websites

Handling Holiday Letdowns: Refocusing on the Positives When Things Don’t Go as Planned

The holidays often come with high expectations – for the perfect family gathering, the ideal gift, or the dream vacation. But sometimes, things don’t go according to plan. Whether it’s a missed flight, a disrupted family tradition, or unexpected challenges that arise, holiday letdowns can leave us feeling disappointed or frustrated. It’s important to remember that it’s okay for things not to be perfect, and that you can still make the most of the season by focusing on what truly matters. Here’s how you can care for yourself and refocus on the positives when the holidays don’t turn out as you hoped.

Why Letdowns Happen:

First, it’s helpful to understand that letdowns are a normal part of life, especially during the holidays. The pressure to create perfect memories and experiences often leads to unrealistic expectations. When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel disheartened. But the truth is, life is unpredictable, and the holidays are no exception. What matters is how you respond to these bumps in the road.

How to Take Care of Yourself During Letdowns:

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:
    • It’s natural to feel disappointed or upset when things don’t go the way you hoped. Rather than brushing those feelings aside, take a moment to acknowledge them. It’s okay to feel let down – it’s part of the human experience. By validating your emotions, you give yourself permission to feel and heal.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion:
    • Be gentle with yourself. If your holiday plans fell through, remind yourself that it’s not your fault. Things happen outside of our control, and it’s important to offer yourself the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation.
  3. Take a Break if Needed:
    • If the letdown is overwhelming, give yourself permission to take a step back and recharge. Sometimes a quiet moment, a walk in nature, or even a nap can help reset your mind and emotions. Rest is a vital part of self-care and can help you regain perspective when things feel heavy.

Refocusing on the Positives:

  1. Shift Your Perspective:
    • Instead of focusing on what went wrong, try to shift your attention to what is still going right. What are the small joys or blessings you can appreciate? Whether it’s a warm cup of tea, a moment of laughter with a loved one, or the kindness of a stranger, these moments can help bring balance back to your mindset.
  2. Create New Traditions:
    • Sometimes holiday letdowns open the door for new opportunities. If a long-standing tradition didn’t happen this year, consider creating a new one. This could be something small, like starting a cozy movie night, baking a favorite treat, or having a gratitude jar where everyone shares what they’re thankful for. New traditions can be just as meaningful as old ones.
  3. Focus on Connection:
    • The holidays are about connection, not perfection. If things didn’t go as planned, focus on the people around you. Engage in meaningful conversations, offer support to others who might be feeling similarly, and cherish the time you have with loved ones. The presence of others is often the best gift you can give and receive.

Finding Meaning in the Moment:

Even in the midst of disappointment, there can be meaning. Sometimes, letting go of expectations allows us to be more present and appreciate the beauty of the moment. Whether it’s finding peace in a quiet evening alone or seeing a different side of a situation, there’s always something to be grateful for.

 The holidays don’t need to be flawless to be meaningful. Letdowns are a natural part of life, but they don’t have to define your experience. By acknowledging your feelings, practicing self-compassion, and shifting your focus to the positives, you can navigate the holidays with grace and joy. Remember, what truly matters is the love, connection, and gratitude we hold, not the perfect holiday plans. This season, embrace the imperfections and find the beauty in what you already have.

If you need help navigating the stresses this holiday season, CMHA – Edmonton Region is here for you. We offer a range of programs and support services to help individuals and families take care of their mental health and well-being. 

If you found the information in this article helpful, please consider making a donation to CMHA – Edmonton Region to assist us in continuing our work right here in the community.

Skip to content